God Answers Prayers

God always answers prayers. Maybe not the way that we expect or understand, but He always answers.  Recently, I was faced with a situation where I really wanted God to answer with a resounding, “Yes”, but He said, “No”.  I argued with Him, but He was pretty insistent.   Generally, my inclination is to analyze situations, complete with bullets and sub-points.  I have been trying to not analyze as much and instead trust God’s leading.  In this situation, I asked for that guidance and He came through with a red light.  I really don’t understand it, but have a peace about it.  God has been asking me, “How much do you trust me to provide what you need and answer your prayers in a way that you can’t begin to imagine?”  Hmmmm…good point.  Yeah, God always answers prayers. Sometimes, He says, “Yes”.  Sometimes, He says, “No”.  Sometimes, He says, “Just wait.  I have something better planned”. 

Five on Fridays

It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.  It won’t be long until the kids and grandkids start coming home.  I can’t wait to see them.  There will 17 of us staying here when we are at our peak.  I am thankful that Justin married someone local.  I’m not sure where I would put more adults.  I firmly believe that God has a sense of humor.  Who else would orchestrate placing a woman with crowd anxiety in a family like this?

I really like my job.  This week, my students made beef kabobs.  I love the looks on their faces when they taste something that they made and I know that they think it tastes awesome.

My niece and her family have been here for a few days.  It was great to see the little girl that I once knew, all grown up into a wonderful woman.

I discovered an iphone app called Paprika.  With this, I can import a recipe that I find online into a consistent recipe format.  I think I’m going to like it.

I fell asleep in the bathtub earlier tonight.  I love that feeling.

Five on Friday

     I had a nice Thanksgiving with my family.  As tradition has it, my Grandma prayed for the meal, or should I say tried.  She became emotional and the prayer was finished by someone else.  My mom asked her about it later.  Grandma said that she became emotional because this might be her last Thanksgiving.  Grandma is in relatively good health so there is no reason to worry.  It was a reminder that we aren’t promised tomorrow, so we need to cherish every minute that we have

This time of year brings back a lot of memories.  It was when Dan and I started dating. It was when we looked forward to our wedding that would be right after Christmas.  It was also when Dan’s health really got bad and there many lasts.  I am so blessed to have shared 9 years and 37 days with this man.

My Christmas tree is up.  Crystal will decorate it when she gets here in a couple of weeks. I can’t wait to have all of the kids home.  They are such incredibly awesome people.

My surgery is officially scheduled for February 13^th.  I feel good about this decision.  This week, I bought a couple of pairs of jeans in smaller sizes in anticipation of what is to come……or go as the case may be.  Out of curiosity, I attempted to try them on.  They definitely did not fit.  I am looking forward to the day when I give the away because they are too big.

I love listening to Christmas music while I sew.  I sing along…..loudly….and harmonize.  

Hot Guy in Church

I saw a very attractive man this morning.  I don’t know who he is or even his marital status.  The attractiveness that I saw wasn’t based on physical appearance or even how he interacted with other people.  The attractiveness came from how he interacted with God.  You see, during a time of worship through music, I saw a man with his hands raised toward heaven, lost in worship.  For those of you who attend churches where this is the “norm”, you might not see this as a big deal.  Although, a person worshiping this way is certainly not unusual in my church, it is also not what you would see being done by a majority of the congregation.  This area, up until the last few years, has primarily been Norwegian and German……two cultures not readily known for their expression of emotion and expression of worship is often very private.  Maybe one of the good things to come out of the population explosion here is that our boundaries are being stretched in how we experience worship.  That’s a blog for another day, though.

It’s no secret that I desire to share my life with someone.  I am tempted at times to lower my standards to accomplish that.  I am thankful for reminders like the one that I got today, that any man who isn’t sold out to God in a way that causes him to be lost in worship, isn’t a man I should be with.  That doesn’t mean that he has to express his worship the same way as the man I saw this morning, but he must have a heart that seeks God.  That’s the man who will have my attention.  That’s the man I will worship with.  

Five on Friday-11/16/12

I borrowed this idea from my niece.  My inspiration for blogs entries hasn't come as easily as I would like.  There are glimpses of beginnings, but they haven't come to fruition.  I have decided to fill in those barren times with Five on Friday words.

1.  Even on days like today when my students were really ornery, I love them and I love what I do.  

2.  The more that I talk to my students, the more I am learning that while there is drama in their lives and relationships, it is actually the adults that can't let things go.  The problem is that adults who don't know the whole story, involve themselves and cause more problems.  By the time they realize how wrong they are, the poison has been spread all over Facebook and in their little gossip circles.  The damage is done and the student is the one who has to try to overcome not only the initial situation, but now all of the collateral damage too.

3.  I don't like that the Hallmark Channel shows so many Christmas movies right now.  Boy meets girl, conflict happens, they live happily ever after.  Yeah....life isn't like that.

4.  I am really looking forward to seeing my kids and grandkids in about a month.  I miss them so much.

5.  God has made me more than good enough....even if others don't recognize that.

A New Journey

I have decided to embark on a new journey.  It won’t be an easy one.  I am hoping that as I chronicle the adventure that I will be able to provide hope for someone with the same struggles and find people that will be encouraging while holding me accountable. This wasn’t an easy decision to make and has been in the works for several years.  I first considered it over 5 years ago and had the support of my husband.  It didn’t feel like the right time then.  With health issues becoming a concern, recognizing the limits that my choices have created, and experiencing the rudeness of people who don’t know me, I decided that now was the right time. 

In July, I attended a meeting at MedCenter One in Bismarck to begin the process of getting a gastric bypass.  I chose MedCenter One because I felt that it would be too difficult to be hospitalized in the same place that my husband had been while he was fighting cancer.  I attended the meeting alone after doing some shopping.  I have crowd anxiety issues so getting this far was a boost of confidence.  I was feeling really good….until.  I sat down to look through the materials.  I glanced up at the screen and saw that the surgeon that performed three surgeries on Dan would also be my surgeon. He had switched hospitals. This rattled me a little, but I pulled myself together and made it through the meeting.  I came home and spent a considerable amount of time filling out paperwork and making the necessary appointments.  I met with and got a referral from my primary physician, met with the psychiatrist for the required evaluation, (I passed, by the way), and planned for my appointment with the surgeon.  Three days before my appointment, I received a call.  I was told that my surgeon was no longer employed by that hospital and the appointment was cancelled.  I decided to look at my options.  MedCenter One was working on getting another surgeon certified, but they didn’t know how long that would take.  I contacted MidDakota Clinic and started the process again.  More paperwork, more medical records to be released.  On October 16^th, I met with the nutritionist, nurse, financial department, and the surgeon.  I originally wanted the surgery to be in November, but everything would have to fall into place quickly.  As of today, my medical records still have not been sent to MidDakota.  In addition, because of some of the limitations following surgery, I would have to be very careful at Christmas.  I decided that I didn’t want to give up being able to play with and hold my grandchildren.  The surgery is tentatively set for February 13^th.  It won’t be set for sure until my medical records are received and insurance authorizes the surgery. 

So the journey begins. The journey to a longer and healthier life.

On Fire

As a culmination to a unit on fruits and vegetables, I assigned the groups to find a recipe for salsa that we would prepare in class.  As part of the instructions, I warned them of the perils of skin to sensitive skin contact after working with hot peppers.  Most of the recipes called for using jalapeno peppers.  A couple of groups asked if I would buy ghost peppers for them.  Ghost peppers are extremely hot.  I told the groups that I would not buy them, but if they wanted to bring them in, they could use them.  Before going into the lab, I again explained that working with peppers can bring pain and encouraged the students to use plastic gloves.  Having five sons, I know a little bit about teenage boys.  One thing that I know is that they don’t always heed advice. Another thing that I know is that they like to push the envelope.  The day after the lab, I had a conversation with one young man’s father.  He told me that on the evening before, his son had used the bathroom.  After returning to where his dad was, he began to experience a burning sensation which caused some squirming.  After a few minutes, his dad asked him what was going on.  He replied that he used the restroom and despite washing his hands several times, the skin to sensitive skin contact was causing some discomfort.  Ok, that’s not really how he said it, but you get the idea.  The next day in class another student relayed a similar story, which culminated in the young man saying, “I felt like my crotch was on fire.”  I reminded him that I had encouraged him to wear gloves, but he thought that he knew better.  The consequences were quite painful.

God has given us clear directions through His Word for how to avoid needless pain.  He knows what will happen if we choose to sin.  He wants to spare us that pain.  Unfortunately, we think we know better and we do things that go against what He has said.  Then the pain starts…..maybe not immediately, but it does start and we start squirming.  Sometimes it takes some reflection to figure out what is causing the pain and sometimes we can pinpoint the cause immediately. Hopefully, we recognize that the best choice is to follow God’s commands and not think that we know better. 

One of the young men wrote on my board, “Mrs. Holm is always right.”  We need to write on our lives, “God is always right”.