The Backyard of the Heart

I had the need to drive down an alley today.  I found it quite interesting.  Several backyards were fenced in so no one could see.  Others had fences that still allowed the view. Others had no fence at all.  What I found most interesting was how the backyards looked.  I have driven in front of the houses many times and for the most part they appear to be well maintained.  The lawn is mowed, everything looks fine.  Then there is the backyard.  Not many people will see that part of the property.  For that reason, there are some that will neglect it.  It might need mowing or only have patches of grass among the weeds.  There may be junk thrown about.  On the other hand, the backyard might be a surprise….a relaxing oasis from the stress of the day, or a place where a family can enjoy time together. 

I wondered about these backyards and how they might mirror our hearts.  Sometimes things look great from the outside, but that isn’t a true reflection of what is going on in the heart.  Like a backyard that has been neglected, we let our lives get overgrown with things that aren’t very beneficial and only have patches here and there of things that cause us to grow in God.  A nice backyard doesn’t just happen.  It takes attention and purposeful effort.  Likewise, in order to have a growing relationship with God and others, we need to make an effort.  That means more than a 30 second devotional as we hurry through our day, or a less than heartfelt prayer when we have expectations of God.  It’s making time with Him a priority whether that is in the time we spend with Him privately or joining others in worship. 

There are times that our backyard condition is less about neglect and more about the junk that we throw about.  There are attitudes and actions that God specifically says to stay away from.  Purposely engaging in those things is like throwing junk around the backyard. It creates an environment that results in not only you, but others getting hurt.  More importantly, if what you are doing is in direct violation of what God expects, that junk can hinder someone from coming to Him.

I like the backyard oasis.  The heart that is a reflection of the fact that God is a priority.  The life that is sold out to what God wants.  The actions and attitudes that cultivate a growing relationship with Him.  The environment that draws others to Him.

Maybe it’s time to do some weeding, get rid of some junk, or spend some time making the heart match what we portray on the outside.  

It All Gets You Clean

Because the master bedroom has been going through improvements lately, I have moved into a guest room in the basement of my house.  This has also meant that I am primarily using the guest bathroom.  Today while readying myself for the day, I took a look at some of the things that had been left by previous guests.  I have 6 children, 5 daughters-in-law, and 7 grandchildren.  From time to time, they find themselves at home and taking up residence for a few days in the “guest” rooms and bathroom.  In addition, when weather is an issue or her work schedule is taxing, my sister will also stay with me.  Apparently, they also tend to forget to take some of their products with them.  As I looked at the items in the shower this morning, I found 4 bottles of shampoo, 5 different kinds of body wash, 1 bottle of conditioner, 1 bottle of baby shampoo, and 1 bottle of Dawn dish soap.  Out of all of these products, only 2 of them were for my use.  I looked at the other ones and noticed something that they all had in common.  They were all used for getting the body clean.  You may be wondering about the Dawn dish soap, but if you have a member of the family who works in the oil industry, you would understand.  Other than that primary function, each of the products was different.  Some were designed to do things like add extra body or control frizz.  The body washes were an assortment of scents, some feminine, some masculine, and some neutral.  There were products that cost a little bit more money and products that were purchased with economy in mind.  Each individual or family had their own preferences for how to get clean. 

John 14:6 says, “I am the way and the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me.”  Yes, Christ is the only way to the Father, but we experience our journey to and in Christ in different ways.  Some people find their way at a very young age through the teaching and example of a Sunday School teacher.  Some people find their way during a youth camp.  Some people feel God speaking to them in a church service.  Some people see Christ in a friend’s life and it causes them to seek Him.  However it comes about is not the issue. The focus is that they accepted Christ as their personal savior and are living according to His word.  In addition, Christians don’t leave their personalities at the altar.  While there may be characteristics about us that God molds and shapes into more of His likeness, we are still individuals and have different views of how best to connect with God and fellow believers.  Whether it’s a mega church, a small country church, or everything in between, as long as what is being taught is in accordance to God’s word, it’s merely a matter of preference.  It doesn’t matter if the music is traditional hymns or contemporary praise as long as it serves to bring honor and glory to God and draw His people into worship.  A congregation might be vocal or they might be quiet.  Neither one is a definite indicator of spiritual health. What it comes down to is how we as Christians bring honor to God while drawing others to Him.  The rest of it is just different brands of shampoo.

Apple Seeds

This morning, while waiting for a store to open, I decided to grab a cold coffee drink.  I saw a familiar face and spent a few minutes chatting with the lead pastor of New Hope Wesleyan Church, Mike Skor.  He was waiting for a couple of the other pastors to have a creative arts meeting.  Pretty soon, Shaun Breiland and Matt Beck showed up.  Shaun mentioned that he was in need of someone to do some texturing in his basement.  It just so happened that there was a guy texturing at my house today.  We used an app called Bump to transfer the contact information from my iphone to his iphone.  As the pastors prepared for their meeting, they fired up a MacBook, a MacBook Pro, and an iPad.  They also all had their iphones on.  A man sitting nearby commented that they must work in ministry because of all the Apple products present.  Pastor Mike engaged in conversation with the man confirming his observation and inviting him to church. 

Matthew 7:20 says, “Thus, by their fruit, you will recognize them.”  A man who was new to town “just happened” to be in the coffee shop on a Tuesday morning when there was a creative arts meeting involving some Apple fans.  The fact that these men of God were using Apple products resulted in conversation about God.  I don’t know if this man had a relationship with God, but I do know that a seed was planted this morning and the results may make a difference in eternity for this man and for others that he may meet along his life journey.

Although some may espouse that Apple products are an indicator of spiritual health, the reality is that they really aren’t.  I’m sorry guys.  The truth of the matter is that God used something that many would consider just a personal preference in technology to start communication that could bring people to Him. That’s pretty powerful.  As Christians, it is so important to understand that everything we are, every word we speak, every decision we make, every reaction that we have, has the power to affect eternity.  God can use anything about us to plant seeds…..like Apple seeds.

I'm moving......

my Cook Until He Says "Well Done" blog posts to this blog. =)  You can find them as "older posts".

God and the Baaken-Part 2

My previous post talked about people coming to the Baaken to find hope.  I can’t begin to imagine the hurt that many of these individuals feel having to leave their families, the comfort of their homes, and their support systems to start this journey.  It takes an incredible amount of strength to venture into the unknown and hope that it works because it’s your last shot.  I wish I could say that this community has been an example of how to be welcoming and accepting, but some of the things that I have seen posted on Facebook, written in the paper, and shared on online message boards have made me embarrassed to be from Williston, ND.  Are we in a position where building can’t keep up with demand?  Yes.  Are we in a position where the amount and type of traffic is hard on the roads? Yes.  Have we seen an increase in crime? Yes, although statistically, the amount of crime has not increased.  Do you need to plan your routes a little more carefully to accommodate for traffic?  Yes.  Can you go to WalMart and expect to find what you need and get out of there quickly?  Probably not.  The community is definitely experiencing growing pains. I am thankful for the leadership that is in place to help us through it. 

It’s very easy to fall into the trap of complaining about what is going on in the community and I have been guilty of it myself.  I try to keep it in check and stay positive.  After all, if standing in line longer than I have had to in the past is the worst thing that happens in my day, I’ll probably be ok.  Instead of lamenting over the fact, how about using it as an opportunity to be friendly and get to know someone new.  Let God speak to how He can use you to be welcoming.  If you aren’t in the Baaken, look for those opportunities where you are.

The Christian community has often been the Baaken.  God wants to do a mighty work in the lives of people and we waste time complaining about trivial things. Instead of fighting for souls, we fight about the color of paint on the walls.  Instead of coming together in worship, we complain about the song choices.  Instead of seeing a person crying out to God for forgiveness, we judge them for being at the altar again.  Instead of reaching out to the hurting, we expect them to be over the hurt because in our minds enough time has passed.  The Bible never changes.  God never changes.  The church changes because the needs in and around it change.  We have a choice.  We can sit back and complain about all the things that we don’t understand or we can trust that God has anointed people to lead us to a place where we epitomize His grace and forgiveness.  Step out of your comfort zone and ask God how He wants you to be the church.  Welcome people into the body of Christ.  They are looking for hope, but they won’t find it if all you do is complain.

God and the Baaken-Part 1

I live in a town that is very different from many towns these days. People from all over the country have flocked here to find work.  Housing is scarce right now.  It just can’t be built fast enough.  There are an estimated 40,000 men in the area living in housing called “man camps”.  Campers, cars, and hotels have become a place to call home.  It is not unusual for men to show up with their belongings in a backpack, their last dollars in their pocket, and the hope that they will find a job before those last dollars are gone.  A majority of these men have come without their families.  They work long hours for many days in a row.  What has drawn so many men here in the last couple of years?  What is it about Williston, ND that is different from most of the rest of the country?  Oil!  The oil industry is not new to Western North Dakota. The first well was drilled in 1951.  However, new ways of extracting the oil have been developed causing a present-day “gold rush”. 

What is actually drawing people to the area is hope.  While most of the rest of the country is struggling financially, there is money to be made here.  Families see a glimmer of hope to save their homes, feed their children, and regain a sense of security.  

What if we approached God like that?  To be anything but in the center of His will results in us being in desperation mode, even if we don’t realize it.  It is only when we see that desperation that we can start to have hope.  It doesn’t solve anything to sit in a house that is going into foreclosure, knowing that North Dakota can offer solutions. Likewise, recognizing our desperation for hope and not accepting the solutions from God doesn’t do anything either.  It is only when we leave our hopelessness and give our lives to God that our hearts can prosper.  If you are in that place of desperation, before you take another breath, receive the gift of hope that God has offered to you.  It is worth far, far more than the oil in the Baaken.

Defining and Refining.....Not Pretending

When someone uses a word or phrase to describe me or says that a word or phrase definitely doesn’t describe me, my practice is to take the time to evaluate myself and determine if the description is accurate.  Then, if it is accurate, is it something that I need to allow God to work in my life about. There have been some very challenging and hurtful descriptions made of me in the past few months.  I have been described as being selfish, self-centered, and thinking only of myself.  I took a considerable amount of time addressing those characteristics and hope that at some level I have been able to correct those flaws in my character.  It has come with a cost, both in giving up activities that I enjoyed including writing this blog for a while and redefining relationships that I had.  I have tried to make a concerted effort to sway any focus away from me and although I haven’t always been successful, I have tried.  Be assured that whatever is happening, I am always trying to discern if my words and actions would cause me to be seen in this way.  

Last night, during a discussion with a friend, another word was used, only this time it was clearly established that this word did not describe me.  The word was “coy”.  I had a fairly good idea of what the word meant, but if I was going to evaluate who I was, I needed a clear definition.  The Bible should be the first step in defining character, but I wasn’t able to find the definition there, so I went to the second step….Google.  This is one of the definitions.  “Making a pretense of shyness or modesty that is intended to be alluring but is often regarded as irritating.”  I have to admit that I had a LOL moment.  He was spot on in his assessment.  I am not coy.  So, I began the evaluation process.

I’m not very good at playing games, especially when it comes to men.  I have learned to be independent.  I don’t need rescuing.  (Although, it would be nice to have someone that could change the two light bulbs that I can’t reach)  I’m not a woman who will pretend to be incompetent or stupid just to stroke a man’s ego.  That may be a strike against me in my desire to share my life with someone, but I’d rather be real and alone than pretending to be something that I’m not just to be with someone who will never really know me.  More than that, I think a major reason that the word “coy wasn’t used to describe me is based on this word in the definition…pretense.  You see, God made me who I am.  There is a continual refining of character, but the underlying personality traits are by His design. I should probably wear a warning label that says, “Don’t ask me questions that you don’t want the answer to.” I do my best to temper my response with grace and mercy, but I’m going to give it to you straight. I don’t believe in wasting time trying to guess about things that could have been communicated easily.  In addition, if you ask me to help in shaping your actions and attitudes to conform to those of Christ, I will do that as God leads me.  You should expect nothing less from someone who cares about you. 

Because it is my desire to share my life with someone, I am sometimes tempted to change who God made me to be in order to make that happen.  What I have learned is that “pretense” is really lying and not a good foundation for a relationship.  Dr. Phil put it this way.  "Any relationship where you stop being all of who you are in order to be half of a couple, the price is too high.”  I guess for me, what it boils down to is this.  If a man is looking for arm candy, he needs to keep looking. If a man is looking for a woman who pretends to be weak in order to make him feel strong, he needs to keep looking.  If a man is looking for a woman who will only tell him what he wants to hear and not what he needs to hear, he needs to keep looking.  However, if a man looks for beauty with his heart and not with just his eyes, he has the kind of character that will give strength to a relationship.  If a man is looking for a woman who really is weak sometimes and needs a strong shoulder to lean on, I’m that woman. If a man is looking for a woman who will be honest with him even when it’s not the most comfortable thing to do, I’m that woman.  If a man is looking for a woman who will strive for a better relationship with God and will help him to do the same, I’m that woman.  If a man is looking for a relationship that is grounded in faith, continually growing in love, mercy, and grace, and alive with passion, I am believing in the hope that God will put it in his heart to either look for me or perhaps not overlook me.  Whatever, the outcome, I must be true to the person that God made and is making me to be….not pretending to be otherwise.