A Gift

I remember that it was a very cold day…..January 29, 2008.  My kids and I checked out of the hotel and got in our cars.  We were going home, but not quite yet.  We had to first go to the hospital.  A few days earlier, the surgeon who had been a glimmer of hope for us stood in the room and with tears in his eyes, told us that there would be no more surgeries.  If strength was regained, we could try chemo again, but the reality of the situation was that outside of God intervening, his address was soon going to change to a heavenly mansion.  I went to the room where I had spent many hours and saw him lying there.  My love, my friend, my partner.  He smiled when he saw me and his eyes twinkled the way that they always would.  Then his smile faded a little bit and he told me to have the kids stay in the hall.  He told me to close the door because he had something to tell me.  My mind raced as I wondered what this could be about.  He took my hands and looked into my eyes.  He said, “I want you to get married again.  I think I was just practice so you would know it was ok to love someone and not get hurt.”  Here was this man facing the end of his time on earth and he wanted to make sure I would be ok.  To some it may seem like an awkward conversation, but it was very natural…it was us trying our best to take care of each other as long as we could.  I remember telling him that I wasn’t done loving him yet.  We went home that day and on February 3^rd, 2008, he went to his heavenly home.

Here I am six years later.  For so long, I didn’t think I would ever find love again.  Then it happened.  This guy entered my life and swept my heart away.  What I thought was impossible to feel again is alive and well.  God has blessed me with someone who does his best to understand me….not an easy task, someone who supports me, someone who prays for me daily, someone who worships with me, someone who loves me and cherishes me more than I could ever imagine.  This man who I love and support…this man who makes my toes curl….this man who I can walk this life with.  I am so incredibly blessed to love and be loved by this man…..my husband…..my hero.

I received a wonderful gift that day in the hospital.  The man that I loved gave me permission to love someone else and blessed my future.  I hope that he can somehow know how grateful I am to him for the love that we shared, for the impact that he made on who I am today, and for showing me the kind of love that I deserved in my life.  I hope my husband can enjoy that gift for many years.